Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
