I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
