Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
