I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
