i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
