3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
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He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
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He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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