Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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