do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just want nice things and good sex
What happened to fro yo and sex?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
