I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
