How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
