Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
