never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
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