I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
