Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
