hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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