And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
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after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
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After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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