Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
youre lurking in front of me
Don't make out with my wife yet
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
