i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
