That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
