i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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