One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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