tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Randomize