You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I hope mine doesn't look like that
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
