Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
