I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
