he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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