check it out our google latitudes are spooning
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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