yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
