My cat gives me a boner
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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