he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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