Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
