I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
