Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Randomize
