So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
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