I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You have to summon your inner elephant
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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