I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
