I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
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