sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
