so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
