so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
