i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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