I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize