Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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