Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
