you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
