i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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