I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
