Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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