Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
