god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
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I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
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He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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