Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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