Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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