my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
So much rum. So many feels.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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