help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
